An Open Letter to the Everyday Mom: More

Mother’s Day is a day designed to show respect, honor, and love towards mothers. It is a day of celebration for the everyday mom. On Mother’s Day, most people feel compelled to actually call and speak with their mothers. Fathers show gratitude to their partner. Businesses market the perfect gift to show our love and appreciation.

When this day comes around, I always have a difficult time thinking of how I would like to celebrate as a mom of two. Part of me thinks of some new kitchen essential I want or maybe a request for a day off from the day-to-day duties of motherhood.

Then there’s the other part of me that’s a little offended because one day cannot possibly account for the everyday role of being a mother. Is this one day more important than the other 364 days a year?

So, this one is for all of the mothers out there. To the birth moms and step-moms, grandmothers, and godmothers, to the moms who adopt and the moms that take children in, this day is every day. And for the moms with babies that are not here on earth, this is your day too!

The Secrets of Motherhood as the Everyday Mom

Motherhood is hard. The hardest job to ever be done. And yet, it is often the most unappreciated and unacknowledged job 364 out of 365 days a year, every year. I know I for one haven’t shown my appreciation for my mother nearly as much as she deserves. I hope that my tribute to her in my blog post, 7 Life Lessons I’ve Learned From My Mother, is a small symbol of my appreciation.

You Are No Longer Your Own

From the moment of conception, motherhood is physically and mentally demanding. Your body is literally housing and nourishing life that is later, and quite painfully, birthed.

After birth, your body is left with scars, stretch marks, loose skin, sore breasts, and the inability to make it to a bathroom without wetting yourself. Your hair is falling out, you’re sagging in places you never thought could sag, and you haven’t slept for days at a time.

Whether you are breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, your time is not your own. Your child’s life is dependent upon your time and attention 24/7.

Showers, using the bathroom, eating a hot meal, or drinking a hot cup of coffee, and just simply having a quiet moment to think is non-existent during the early years.

And to top it off, every one is telling you just how much you’re doing it all wrong.

You Feel Invisible As The Everyday Mom

Every day, you wake up and do the same thing over and over without a break. Cooking, cleaning, teaching, modeling, playing, praying, caring, managing, mentoring, deciding, and supporting. Usually, this is all done with little to no acknowledgment. I think that’s what hurts the most. The hardest thing we will ever do will be the one thing that is never seen.

God sees you. I see you. The mom sitting in her minivan in the grocery store parking lot balling her eyes out sees you. One day, the world will see you; through the amazing children, you’ve raised all of those years.

When you feel invisible, know that what you do every single day is the most important job there is. You are more than just the everyday mom.

You Are More Than One Day Can Honor

One day can never encompass the amount of gratitude due to the everyday mom. Your work is forever. It is the hardest job but one we would choose over and over again. The best thing we will do.

The cards, chocolate, and dinners are nice, but nothing means more than to hear that we are appreciated, and not just on Mother’s Day.

You’re more than one day can honor.

Mother’s Day is Every Day

So, no matter when you read this letter, Happy Mother’s Day to you. For all that you do, for all that you give, thank you.

I say we make honoring the moms in the world a regular thing.

Businesses supporting working moms by offering more sick days for emergencies in which they need to care for their children. Offering more maternity time and paternity time because fathers and partners support us postpartum.

The food industry supporting moms by providing healthier options to feed our families.

The healthcare system supporting moms postpartum mentally and physically.

Hospitals and doctors supporting moms, especially women of color, with better birthing experiences.

Mothers should not be doing it all. It take a village and there needs to be support every day of the year.