7 Inspiring Life Lessons I’ve Learned From My Mother

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In honor of Mother’s Day! I wanted to pay tribute to my mother and share with you seven inspiring life lessons I have learned from her that I hope you can store in your mama toolbox too.

My mom, Sandra, is one of the strongest women I know. She was the second youngest of six children, served in the United States Army, and after divorce raised her son as a single mother. Years later she’d marry my father and have my sister and me.

I remember her running a home daycare when we were little, later work two jobs at a hospital and supermarket, and co-parenting my older brother (a teenager by then).

The Woman Behind These Inspiring Life Lessons

I always admired her kindness towards others.

She’d give a stranger the clothes off her back. Always offering a lending hand.

Now, while mother was sweet, she was also a force to be reckoned with. Ha, Sandra doesn’t play. She’s tough. Ask any of my friends.

My mother is loyal.

When my best friend and I were kids my mother made a promise to her mother to always keep us close. She meant it. And a few years later, when my best friend’s mother passed away, my mother made sure we stayed close.

Sierra and I have been besties for 20 years and counting. That’s my ride or die! She comes from a strong and beautiful mother as well. I hope you’re resting peacefully Ms. S.

She is my biggest advocate.

I remember countless times she has stepped in on my behalf when I was too quiet or too afraid to disappoint someone (I am a people pleaser). Senior year in high school, during our approved senior prank, things got a little out of hand and I was in the hot seat since I was the organizer. My mother and I were in the principal’s office, and every adult in the room began to attack me and speak over me.

To paint the entire picture, I was an honors student, top 10 in our class, student-athlete, and the “quiet and polite” kid. Can you see me rolling my eyes now at all of the labels and expectations? And when everything went to hell during the prank I cursed at my teacher and sort of lost my sh*t for a moment.

I was told, “we want to see the old Deanna back, this isn’t you”. As if they ever took the time to know me to begin with. But, I digress.

Back to the story. My mother looked at me, said Deanna, I got this, be quiet, and she SHUT IT DOWN. No one was going to attack her daughter, not even the school principal. I was still suspended for five days and my mother did hold me accountable for my actions but, she had my back, like always. The relationship came first.

I write all of this to share a little of why I am honoring my mother in this blog post.

Seven Inspiring Life Lessons From My Mom

I decided to write this blog post because, since becoming a mother myself, my parenting naturally looks a bit different as I try to navigate the ways we might want to raise a family. I sometimes feel like parents believe their children doing things differently is saying that they did things wrong. And while no parent is perfect, I want to make sure my mother knows that all of her pouring out and giving of herself in order to give to us, mattered. Just because we choose to mother differently from our mothers doesn’t mean our mothers mothered us any less.

I want to honor the inspiring life lessons that I have learned from my mother and pass that wisdom along.

1. Boundaries

“The annoying things you think are cute and accept now will be the things that piss you off later.” My mom always said this in the context of relationships, but I actually learned a bigger lesson from this. Boundaries. In all relationships, not just romantic ones. If something is bothering you or triggering an unhealthy response within yourself, you need to set boundaries.

The things that bother you now are not going to go away just because you smile through them. Whether that is an employer, family member, partner, or a close friend. After a while, you are going to reach a breaking point, and some of that is on you. So, speak your truth and set boundaries where needed in order to live the life you desire and enjoy your relationships.

2. Consider The Source

I mentioned earlier that I am a people pleaser. As a teen, I would worry so much about disapproval that I wouldn’t pursue things that interest me. My mother would always remind me to consider the source. Now, as I embrace who I am, I try not to allow other’s opinions of the path I choose to deter me.

Only you are an expert on your feelings, wants, and needs. It is okay to seek wise counsel and learn from others and their experiences, but always consider the source. Ask yourself, who is it you are allowing to influence your decisions, and are they deserving of such influence?

Inspiring Life Lessons: Avoid the comparison Trap

This also applies to the comparison trap. I get down on myself for not doing as much as Susie on Instagram. But Susie has older children, a housekeeper, and uses a meal prep service. That is great for Susie, but I have to consider the difference in circumstances and work within my season of life to do what I can. Consider the source.

3. Be In Position To Own Your Own

If I had a dollar for every time I heard this growing up, well, I’d have my own. Ha, my mother was always instilling in us an entrepreneurial mindset. When I was a kid and decided to set up a foot spa in my bedroom, she encouraged me, was my number one customer, and helped me market it to my other family members.

My parents worked typical 9-5 jobs but it wasn’t their dream. While being a homemaker is my calling first, I do have a desire and calling outside of the home. here and there I work towards putting myself in a position to own my own. I want to have the freedom to continue putting present time with my family first. I cannot thank my mother enough for another one of her inspiring life lessons.

4. You Show Up For Family

Family is family and you should always show up if possible. Growing up, I was in all sorts of extra-curricular activities. I remember feeling so proud that my mom would show up for just about every local track meet she could. Warming up I would search the crowd or parking lot to see if she made it. And there she’d be, in scrubs, after a long day of work, and with her coffee waving from the parking lot.

Ten years later and I have tears in my eyes just writing this. Her showing up for me meant so much.

Parents, us showing up for our kids means the world to them. No amount of money or material things can replace the time spent or not spent with family. And not just parent-to-child relationships. Family in general. You show up in support. Even if it’s just a card or a drive-by to show your face if you don’t have time to stay for an event.

Hell, even a quick text message to say you wish you could be there and that you’re proud of or excited for them is better than nothing.

And while I know sometimes family can be toxic and you have to protect yourself, showing up can be as simple as praying for those family members. But you show up because family is family. I hate seeing families so divided and the villages we once had turn into this every man for himself mentality. It’s sad.

Thank you mama for always showing up, even when we disagree!

5. Advocate For Yourself

As much as I couldn’t stand it or understand it as a child, my mama was teaching us how to advocate for ourselves in many little ways. The first way that stands out to me is having us make phone calls to companies or people when an appointment had to be scheduled, something was broken, or to ask grandma if we could use something. I swear, I hated it but I am better because of it.

Know what I am pretty good at? Speaking to adults in professional settings. My student job in college required me to speak to and coordinate with professors, adult students, and department heads. My student internship included me writing to publishers of professionally written material on behalf of the director of one of the top 3 graduate programs for Marriage and Family Therapy in the nation.

I’ve given countless college tours, was able to travel to another country in which Spanish was the primary language. And I absolutely love reading aloud to children and presenting information to groups.

My mother taught me to never shut down my voice. Even though I struggle to do this around certain people, I think of my mother’s advice. I am doing a lot of self-work in this area. Ladies, advocate for yourself because you matter and you deserve to be heard.

6. Do Your Best

I didn’t always agree with the way my mom went about some of the lessons I’ve learned. However, I do believe in the intention behind them and am grateful. As much as it hurts to accept, I know my daughters won’t always agree with the choices I make in raising them and that’s just natural. God will always step in where I fall short.

My mother has always pushed us to do our best in all that we do. Our academic performance was always a conversation, and never reprimands or punishments. She wanted us to push ourselves to do the best we could.

I learned that if you know you’ve done everything you can and it doesn’t work out, then it wasn’t meant to be. The bible says, in James 2: 14-17,

¹⁴ What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? ¹⁵ If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, ¹⁶ and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? ¹⁷ So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead (ESV).

7. Best of all Inspiring Life Lessons: I Am Who God Says I Am

I’ve always felt some of the kindest and more generous people seem to experience the most trials. I think of pivotal people in the Bible like Job, Joseph, Daniel, and countless more. Jesus is the prime example. When I would hold on to the negative messages and speak unkindly to myself, my mom would always remind me that I am who God says I am.

To this day, in the midst of my self-doubt and hurt feelings about something that was said or perceived about me and my decisions, I say those words and remember the greatest of all my mother’s inspiring life lessons.

While much of this blog post is a letter to my mother, I hope that these inspiring life lessons inspire you as well.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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What is the greatest life lesson you have learned from your mother or a mother figure in your life?

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